“… it is clear that the apocalypse is coming. The world has gone crazy.”
- The New York Times , August 3, 2011
What was this 72-year-old woman quoted by the Times talking about?
(a) The stock market.
(b) Rumors that scorpions had been spotted in the streets of Tbilisi, Georgia.
(c) The possibility that Kobe Bryant and other NBA stars may play overseas next season if the owners and players don’t reach a new agreement.
Since President Barack Obama seemed to give the Republicans about everything they wanted in the negotiations over the debt ceiling bill, should he seek re-election as a moderate Republican?
(a) A moderate what?
(b) Yes and bring Joe Biden with him. They should pledge if they are re-elected as Republicans they will take away Kobe Bryant’s passport so he can’t play overseas.
(c) No. That’s ridiculous.
When Larry McCoy was driving recently and heard Sean Hannity call President Obama a “crybaby” followed by actuality of Obama speaking along with a baby crying, what did he, Larry, do?
(a) Drive off the road.
(b) Turn off the radio and swear at Hannity.
(c) Laugh like the dickens because he had never heard anything so funny.
Did Larry send an email to Sean Hannity describing that incident as:
(a) “Radio at its best.”
(b) “The most disrespectful and tasteless thing” he had ever heard on the radio.
(c) “Fabulous, absolutely fabulous, Sean. You have such nice hair.”
Did Larry get a response from Mr. Hannity?
(a) Of course not.
(b) Not yet and doubts that he will.
(c) He doesn’t deserve one. Big stars don’t waste their time replying to smart-asses.
What do you think of the wording of this New York Times headline: “Obama Signs Debt Bill, Ending Fractious Fight?”
(a) Right on the money.
(b) The “fractious fight” is far from over.
(c) Obama shouldn’t be signing anything because he’s not a citizen of this country.
If members of Congress weren’t getting their pay checks because of a dispute over funding, would we, the people, ask them to continue working anyway and to charge expenses to their personal credit cards?
(a) Yes.
(b) Get serious.
(c) What Congress? We have a Congress?
When Larry opened a welcoming gift from a Holiday Inn Express and found a package of “Grandma’s Cookies” inside, what was his reaction?
(a) Yummy.
(b) If they were really my grandma’s cookies, they would be awfully stale.
(c) I’d rather have pistachios
Did John Sterling, the radio voice of the New York Yankees, say on a recent broadcast that a Yankee batter had “bunted toward home?”
(a) No way, not our man John.
(b) Indeed and there wasn’t even a self-deprecating giggle or admission, he just forged on toward his next gaffe.
(c) So what if he did? He’s still the greatest.
If the special committee formed by the debt bill – the Joint Select Committee on Deficit Reduction – finishes its work on time in late November, and its recommendations are warmly welcomed by both parties and the public that will mean: (a) The world as we have known it HAS gone crazy, and politicians will immediately stop accusing their opponents of “kicking the can down the road.” Amen for that. (b) Someone has had too many bourbons. There’s about as much chance of a quiet resolution to the nation's debt and income problems as there is of Kobe Bryant asking me to go overseas and play ball with him next season. (c) The world as we have known it HAS gone crazy, and cable news outlets will no longer spend hours talking about some trashy woman who is accused of abusing her kids or worse. Amen for that. (By the way, the answers to most of this former B student’s questions are b.)
(Posted August 5, 2011)