If I were asked to rate my talents in a newsroom, I would say I was a pretty good editor but a lousy manager. Handling a breaking news story usually wasn’t a problem. Dealing with people was.
My conduct as a manager had too many toos in it; Too sarcastic, too impatient, too obnoxious too often, too loud and boisterous, too eager to second guess, too ready to interfere, too lacking in sympathy for how difficult journalism can be at times and too sparing in praise when something was done very well.
Now that I’ve been retired for five years I’m ready to offer some tips to current and future managers on what not to do when running a newsroom.
…Wind-up toys, especially those of body parts, are fun at parties and in bars but probably don’t belong on a manager’s desk. If they are on the desk, then they certainly should not be wound and put into action when someone comes in to see you, especially strangers or the mothers of staff members.
… People who work for you get tired of hearing the same wisecrack every day about their tie or shirt and hearing daily lewd descriptions of what their lunch or their hair looks like.
… Don’t assume that most people will read the staff memos you write, even though they should. When it becomes obvious that hardly anyone has read an important memo, don’t have a fit in public and throw the staff memo clipboard into the wastebasket or make a dramatic display of deleting the queue in the computer where staff memos are stored. If you do either of these things, then the four people who do always read staff memos can’t.
… Even if your organization – let’s call it the Jupiter News Service – is doing a horrible job chasing a big story, do not yell at the newest desk assistant, someone who has been there all of two days, ordering him to “Call Jupiter News Service and see what they’re doing on this story.” The kid won’t understand this attempt at sarcastic subtlety. And don’t forget, you may end up working for him some day.
… At the start of a writer’s audition, do not ask the candidate if she’s an idiot and when she says, “no,” add “good. Because we already have enough idiots.”
… Do not hang pictures in your office of yourself making a popular street gesture, even if the picture was given to you by someone in the company you really like.
… Don’t have a messy office with newspapers, books, tapes, candy wrappers, baseball hats, a bull whip, telephone books and dozens of other items – some living, some dead – scattered all over. You may hear from your boss if he or she sits in for you and strolls out into the newsroom with a very wet bag of grapes you bought and then forgot.
… When a young writer who wants to know what it would be like to work at the Jupiter News Service starts taking notes on what you are saying and asking questions about health benefits and how long it normally takes for people to get a promotion, don’t get annoyed or angry and don’t rise from your chair and scream at this poor creature that you are not running a Boy Scout camp and demand that he take his pen and pad and his ass out of your office forthwith if not sooner.
… If something goes terribly wrong close to a deadline (whoever heard of that happening in a newsroom?), don’t throw anything - in your office, in the newsroom or anywhere else. The throw nothing advice includes telephones, cassettes, staplers, tape reels, pens, pencils, people, clipboards, waste baskets, food, clothing, reams of paper. I repeat. Throw nothing.
You shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that I’m guilty of any of the things above, but perhaps this would be a good time to confess it probably wouldn’t have killed me to say “good morning” when greeted at the start of the day by staff members. Although it may be too late, here goes: “Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning…..”
(Posted April 1, 2011)