Dear Mr. Nicholson,
I've admired much of your work over the years, but one thing has
always puzzled me - why do you sit in the front row at Lakers' games?
Yes, it guarantees you face time on TV, but you can't see diddlysquat from
there.
With the Lakers back in the NBA Finals, I'm sure you know ESPN
keeps showing shots of you and your reactions to what is happening on
the court. The problem is I don't think you can truly appreciate what is
going on from where you're sitting. You need to move up a little higher to
really see the action.
I've only sat where you normally sit once. It was at a Nets' game at the
Izod Center toward the end of the 2009 NBA season. My son, also named
Jack, treated me to courtside seats, which gave us a close up look at the
butts of referees (the refs seemed to take turns standing in our way) and
the butts and calves of players. We didn't have a decent view of anything
that happened on the opposite side or end of the court. All we saw was a
lot of butts and calves, running this way and then that. The calves were
hairy, the butts were clothed.
When there was a disputed play at the other end of the court - a player
stepped out of bounds or a foul was called - we had about as much chance
of having an unimpeded look at it as BP does in cleaning up its mess in the
Gulf in the next two weeks.
They had to be the worst seats in the house and only cost $800 apiece.
Thank God, we didn't pay that. Jack, a professional photographer, had
recently made a large purchase from a camera store that threw in the
Nets' tickets for free. I will say this though about the $800 seats at the Izod
Center. At half time some kid walks by and hands you a stat sheet. Of
course, another way of looking at this is if you had a seat higher up, you
would have seen the first half and wouldn't need a stat sheet.
Those sunglasses you always wear don't have special 3-D lenses do
they? Outside of being close to the players and coaches, I don't understand,
Mr. Nicholson, what the big deal is about being courtside. There's always
the risk a player will come crashing into you. You could be hit by a wet,
smelly towel or a player could spritz sweat all over you. And all those
braces and headbands players wear these days have to stink pretty bad.
You like being near all that?
I hate to think what you pay for NBA Finals' tickets. Based on my visit
to the Nets last year and the $800 list price on the ticket, I figure for that
amount of money my wife and I, both seniors, could have gone to the
movies 44 times. Does that strike you as a fair balance? Watching one Nets
game is worth 44 movies?
While I'm at it, let me say that I thought "The Bucket List" would have
been much more interesting if you and Morgan Freeman had switched
roles. You're always playing the rowdy, undisciplined type. Mr. Freeman
should have tried his hand at that while you took the role of the bashful,
unadventurous guy. This reversal could have made "The Bucket List" less
predictable and more fun to watch.
If you have read down this far, many thanks. I'm sure I'll be seeing you
on TV until the Finals end. In a way, I'm glad you're at the games and the
TV networks know where to find you. Many times when I'm watching a
game there will be shots of you or Spike or Woody or Jay Z or Denzel and
then five or six other beautiful people from TV shows or movies I've never
heard of.
Mr. Nicholson, you're only five months older than I am, and I can't
help but wonder if you have as much trouble keeping up with the names
and shows of all these young "entertainers" as I do?
Sincerely,
Larry McCoy
P.S. Sorry. One more thing. (I wrote a note to CBS News about this, but
they ignored me, as usual.) The next time you talk to Mr. Freeman would
you suggest that he re-track his opening to the "CBS Evening News With
Katie Couric." Tell him, please, that some of us think he should put the
final "r" back in the word "headquarters." As things are now, he says in his
opening that Ms. Katie is reporting from "CBS News, Headquartas."
Thanks.